Stupid shit to do or to stop doing. It is a list that help me save money on things so I was able to simplify my complex middle-aged man’s life. This seems to be a long list of things that seems to bother this middle-aged man. Continue reading →
What is my passion? Over the existence of my life, I was obtaining the first and best, (at least better than my friends) all kinds of stuff. I would do this madness in technology alone, buy the latest gadget, standing in lines for hours. I was looking for happiness in my stuff. The saddest memory I have transpired during my 20’s and I purchased (on payments) a new Honda Civic. Continue reading →
Living in the now? I have no idea how to do that. I spent my entire life living either in the past or pinning my hope on some event in the future. I was an A.A. convention when the speaker, named Charlie, said one thing, that stood out. In the back of out brains is a spot called, ‘there’. This little spot is where we try to be. We try to be there. For me, my drinking career was about wanting to find and stay ‘there’. I would think about when I could successfully drink, so I could aim at ‘there’ or find my ‘now’ moment. Continue reading →
I wrote this when I started my recovery. The shaking was over, but my mind was not clear.
The lock on this cage is on the inside
Unlock this pain?
Where is the key or is it a tumbler sequence of right choices
Is it a set of long numbers– is it just a willingness to open the lock?
What is the right sequence?
Where is the key, if there such a thing?
Which is it?
Where do I look?
Tired at staring just out.
Tired of looking down at my feet.
Tired at looking for the next lie.
Such chains around my mind.
Can someone open this cage?
Find and fill that hole in my soul…
My mind is out of control.
Help me find the grace in my space.
Reach in, please make me free!
Part of my journey is discovering more about me. The good, the bad and even the ugly. My sobriety is not long, so my journey is fresh and new. How do I mark this road either as progress or stagnation? I took an elevator down to a really dark place, where carnage happens. My drinking helped me to lose my job, my wife, and many relationships. I am now taking the stairs back up, one step at a time. Continue reading →
This article is about writing things like your fourth step or any study material for working your sobriety. I heard this again in meeting this week, “God… is between the pencil and the paper.” That is romantic, but not practical. God could just as well, be present… between my fingers and my keyboard. Continue reading →