The Trinity of Self

The word Trinity is often referred to the three-in-one God of the Bible, with the name; The Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost. Because of love, I believe in the Trinity because it only makes sense to me. I never had an issue in believing in the concept of love. I feel and experience love. So, love must have existed before God created the heavens and the earth. So having three persons in the Godhead, allows love to exist before creation.

There is another trinity (lower case t) of my self-centered world. There are three sides to my thinking. I am 1) selfish, 2) self-centered, and 3) live in self-pity. The perfect storm! I live with most of these defects of characters each day, sometimes one or the other is more prevalent, or there are days when I am not consciously aware that I am living in the self-centered world. Ah, before you judge me, I ask that you look for these defects in your life. If you still cannot see it, try a dose of humility.

What does it mean to be selfish, self-centered and self-pity? Page 62 of the Big Book has all three in two sentences and others added on for humility. It is the root of our (mine) troubles!

Big Book, page, 62 “Selfishness—self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows, and they retaliate.”

What is selfishness? It is me being concerned excessively or exclusively, about me or my advantage over you; where I am overly concerned with self-pleasure, or my personal welfare, at the expense of you.

What does it mean to be self-centered? It is me being preoccupied with my affairs at the expense of yours. This is the area where my ego allows me to go.

What does it mean to live in self-pity? This is my strongest, “weakness.” Self-pity is when I feel suffering and misfortune because of self-indulgence thinking which I accept as truth, but it is all about me wanting something I do not deserve. Often it is a failure of faith, failed thinking and puffing myself up as I deserve something more than you do.

It is interesting to see the trinity of AA as well. When we look at the AA circle/triangle symbol most closely associated with AA. The triangle is three-sided, each side representing, Service, Recovery, and Unity.

So, the trinity of AA is how we should relate to each other. The Trinity of the Bible is how we should love one another.

And the trinity of self should be overpowered by those other two trinities; AA’s Service, Unity, and Recovery and most important learning to Love one another.

‘Alcoholic’ versus ‘I am an Alcoholic.’

I am a real alcoholic which means in my recovery; I have alcoholic thinking. I hope one day that kind of thinking would be not so critical of some things.

When I sit in my meetings; we do the usual stuff, and ask people to identify, such as newcomers, 30 days, 60 days, 90 days, six months, and nine months. We also do give cakes for birthdays (sobriety anniversaries.) As well as in the shares in the meetings. I listen to everyone, and I noticed this more and more lately.

I will use a name of Bill for this article. So, this person Bill, shares or identifies. I often hear, “Bill Alcoholic.” This identity is slightly off, from what I think I should being hearing. An alcoholic is not his or her last name. I believe we need to identify as who we truly are, like, “Bill I am an Alcoholic” or “My name is Bill P., and I am an alcoholic.” Slightly different, but I think it is important.

Why is it important. First, it is what we do, for each and at every meeting, (including business meetings), so why? Why do we identify as ‘I am an Alcoholic?’ I believe it helps when we are new to understand that we are physically and emotionally different from non-alcoholics, so this reinforces the understanding of who we are. Second, with time, it reminds us of who we truly are.

As well, I am identifying as an Alcoholic to identify with another… Alcoholic.

It is the Essence of Our Common Bond.

Doctor’s Opinion
XXX.5 All these, (alcoholics) and many others, have one symptom in common: they cannot start drinking without developing the phenomenon of craving. This phenomenon, as we have suggested, may be the manifestation of an allergy which differentiates these people, and sets them apart as a distinct entity. It has never been, by any treatment with which we are familiar, permanently eradicated. The only relief we have to suggest is entire abstinence.

The Drink Think is Gone

The other day after a meeting, (not an AA meeting), I and some friends Anne and Amanda (mother and daughter— also normies) decided that pizza was required. Anne is struggling with unknown a skin condition which makes her scratch. To get some relief, she uses ice packs. The ladies were in the conversation on where they will pick up a bag of ice. Me being me, talk to the pizza lady about ice, I boldly ask for a free large bag. She comes back with a small zip-type bag. She tells that is all the ice she had, and she gets a bag for $2 at the liquor store. I announce I am going to the liquor store for ice. I get an escort from the mom. She tells me that I need help because the neighborhood is bad and I need her protection. Which is odd, but ok. She mentioned that she cannot let her daughter escort me because she never lets her daughter out with guys. Ok, I understand her rules.

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Twelve Steps

There are 12 steps In A.A. They are paramount to recovery. They consist of just 200 words in the AA’s Big Book on pages 59-60. When we arrive into AA, most of us wanted some relief from our drinking. We may not be ready to admit we are “alcoholics.” This simple program is not about getting our drinking under control, it is about living life fully without the need to have a drink or to use.

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Recovered verse Recovering?

Big Book Being Recovered

The Big Book in the first 164 pages uses the word “recovered” approximately twenty times; “recover,” twenty-five times and “recovering,” only twice, and then that is in the context of the newcomer.

The Family Afterward, p.122
“Our women folk have suggested certain attitudes a wife may take with the husband who is recovering.”

To Wives, p.104
“But many of the suggestions given here may be adapted to help the person who lives with a woman alcoholic — whether she is still drinking or is recovering in A.A.” Continue reading

Merry Recovery

I attended for the first time my AA group’s 11 PM Christmas Eve Meeting. We had tamales and other food. Yum. It was well attended, well, over attended. I do not like big groups. As the meeting followed the normal protocols, I was taking it in. The evening was festive, people dressed up, some cried, some hugged and most were there to help. The room has a Christmas tree in the corner. It is decorated, but missing physical gifts under the tree? Continue reading

God as you understand God

God as you understand God… or it is a god of our own understanding?

The AA program works when a spiritual dimension is activated and God is a welcomed member or active agent of change in our lives. Bill W. and the others knew that the God of Bible and other religions may be a point of distraction to those who find themselves physically and emotionally different from those who do not struggle with alcohol abuse. Without God, the alcoholic is lost; but how does one find a God that they have rejected? Continue reading